Every morning before I leave my apartment, I quickly throw a frozen fish fillet in the oven and cook some veggies to take with me for lunch. Frozen fish fillets are very practical and convenient and my veggies are really healthy, easy to prepare sides. Besides, I value those few extra minutes I get to spend in bed after my alarm goes off…

Anyway, my boss eventually got tired of seeing me eat fish and vegetables every single day (Well, Monday – Wednesday, which is when I am in the office), so today she brought some yummy, spicy, Caribbean food: spicy mac and cheese and spicy rice and peas! I love mac and cheese, and I love rice and peas… To top it all off, I LOVE spicy food.

Today was a true test of my willpower, I have to say. My tastebuds begged me for larger portions, while my brain processed the image of the oil that was nearly dripping from the macaroni. In the end, my brain won the battle.

I ate my fish and vegetables to satisfy my hunger, and then tried a spoonful of the mac and cheese and about two spoonfuls of the rice. They were incredibly tasty, but the important thing is: I resisted the urge to eat more than I needed.

Ever felt full but still felt the need to eat? Not because of hunger, but because of a certain indescribable need to chew…

With me, this usually happens when I am in the middle of something important in my life, when I am anxious about something, when I am nervous… You get the idea.

Anyway, today was one of those days. I am in the process of applying to graduate schools, and that is making me very, very anxious. I am taking baby steps for now, slowly immersing myself in the conundrum of applications and forms, but at least things are getting done. Still, until each and every application is submitted/mailed, my anxiety will be difficult to control – and so will my need to chew.

To add to my anxiety, I have to attend an event tomorrow that I am not looking forward to, but which I will attend out of respect and politeness… Still, thinking about tomorrow makes me want to stuff my face.

The good thing is: I am still under my calorie limit for the day, YET my stomach feels dangerously close to exploding. I knew I would regret it if I started munching through the Twix bars I have hidden in the cabinet or if I made myself a big, greasy sandwich , so I stuck to several bottles of water, coffee, and tea. I drank until my stomach hurt, then moved on to snacking on orange slices, oatmeal, and a few peanuts.

Right now, I am sipping on some green tea. I think I might go to bed early with a good book (at 8:00 PM on a Saturday night, I’m so cool) – that will keep me from snacking!